Showing posts with label Relationship Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship Tips. Show all posts

8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship

8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship

8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship


8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship


You may have heard the saying "love is blind". And this can be true - sometimes unhealthy emotional attachments make it hard to see the signs that you're in a bad relationship. Of course, no couple is perfect, and we all have a deep inner need to connect with other humans. And for love to work, it needs open and honest communication. On the flip side, there are things you should think about before you ever tolerate them in a relationship.

Naturally, we all have different tolerance levels. This means that some of us can often forgive certain things that others may not. Thus, understanding the behaviors that are major red flags for something unhealthy can help you find a satisfying partnership, whether it's with your current partner or in a future relationship. 

Trust-breaking behaviors can range from not prioritizing your partner to physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse. And when it comes to abusive and toxic relationships, it is important to manage it well in order to make the right decision to protect yourself.

8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship


Here are 8 8 Things You Should Never Tolerate in a Relationship


1. Physical abuse: 

Physical abuse basically involves someone using physical force against you, causing you harm. Physical abuse can include any of the following acts of violence:
  • Scratching or biting
  • pushing or shoving
  • slapping
  • kicking
  • choking or strangling
  • throwing things
  • force feeding or denying you food
  • using weapons or objects that could hurt you
  • physically restraining you (such as pinning you against a wall, floor, bed, etc.)
  • reckless driving
  • other acts that hurt or threaten you.

The abuser often blames another person, such as the victim, for saying or doing something that "caused" their violent behavior. Or he might say that his/her behavior was the result of being under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or feeling stressed or frustrated. It is also common for the abuser to feel remorse and to apologize after the assault. They may ask for forgiveness and promise not to do it again. This makes it more difficult for the victim of abuse to leave the relationship. 

What you need to remember:
  • That their violent behavior is always their responsibility, not yours. 
  • Abuse is never acceptable or justified. 
  • Whatever they say, their violence is never acceptable.
Why do people stay? 

The reasons are complex but range from fear to low self-esteem and a lack of a supportive network of friends. Also, after a moment of abuse, the abusive partner often turns to manipulation and making false excuses. These partners can be so good at this that you doubt yourself especially if you have no one to talk to.


2. Emotional abuse:

Emotional abuse involves controlling another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate them. While most common in dating and married relationships, mental or emotional abuse can occur in any relationship—including among friends, family members, and co-workers. 

When there is a pattern of verbal abuse and bullying conduct that wears down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health, it is emotionally abusive. The main target of emotional abuse is to isolate, discredit, and silence the victims in order to exert control over them. Its difficult  to spot this type of abuse to because it can be sneaky and subtle. It can, however, also be overt and deceptive.

Emotional abuse can undermine your self-esteem in either case, and you can start to question your views and reality. Finally, you may feel trapped. While you find yourself getting emotionally abused too often to stay in the relationship, you are also afraid to leave. So, until something is done, the cycle will continue.


3. Stonewalling

Demeaning behavior in a relationship can involve ignoring your feelings and shutting you out. When someone stonewalls you, they refuse to answer you and might even walk away in mid-conversation.

There are many possible causes for this behavior, such as fear of a possible fight or desire to evade responsibility, but if someone does not have the desire to create an open conversation and takes responsibility for their behavior, you will reach a dead end.

Signs of stonewalling can include:
  • Ignoring what the other person is saying.
  • Changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic.
  • Storming off without a word.
  • Coming up with reasons not to talk.
  • Refusing to answer questions.
  • Making accusations rather than talking about the current problem.

4. Manipulation and control: 

Perhaps your partner tries to control what you do and when you do it. Or maybe they expect you to fall in line with their values, no questions asked. There are many ways your partner can be controlling, and these behaviors are not OK.

It is not always easy to spot manipulation, but deep down, you will know that something is not right and that these are things that you should never tolerate in a relationship. Sometimes people manipulate or control by making others feel guilty or by threatening to quit. Then they reward you with their so-called loving presence after you give them what they want.


5. Gaslighting: 

Gaslighting is a common feature of control in toxic relationships. It is a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. In other words, it is a subtle type of emotional abuse in which the bully or the aggressor misleads his victims, creating a false narrative and causing them to question their judgments and reality. 

Thus, “any psychological manipulation of a person, usually over a long period of time, causes the victim to question the validity of her thoughts, perception of reality, or her memories and usually leads to her feeling confused, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of emotional or mental stability, and dependence on the manipulator.”

Your partner may try to convince you that your fears are "ridiculous" or unfounded, or they may respond to your hurt feelings with "it was just a joke" or "mild it up." Or he may use lying, denial, or shifting blame as tools to mislead you.


6. BREAK YOUR TRUST :

Trust is an essential component of a strong relationship, but it doesn't happen quickly. But once it's broken, it's hard to rebuild. When you think of circumstances that could lead you to lose faith in your partner, infidelity may immediately come to mind. But cheating isn't the only way to break trust in a relationship. Other possibilities for a trust breach include: 

  • Going back on your words or not keeping promises 
  • Not being there for your partner in their time of need 
  • Withhold or keep something 
  • Lying or manipulating

7. Your partner is trying to isolate you:

Independence is an important part of any healthy relationship, so when the abusive partner is trying to isolate you from your loved ones and hobbies , this is a sign that your partner is trying to assert their dominance at the expense of your happiness, personal relationships, and self-care. However, while isolation behaviors can be difficult to detect, it is not impossible to identify them.

Here are five warning signs that your partner is cutting you off from your support network.

  • Your partner insists on taking up too much of your time 
  • Your partner refuses to interact with your friends and family 
  • Your partner makes up reasons to stop you from seeing friends and family 
  • Your partner uses jealousy, guilt, or other emotional manipulation Your partner is insist to know all your passwords

There are many explanations for why they act this way, and they are all bad. Your partner may know that your friends refuse the relationship for good reasons, and therefore tries to keep you away from people who will point out serious flaws and fears. Or they may be insecure or jealous of your interactions with others. But your personal relationships and lifestyle are important, so any partner trying to empty your life is not to be overlooked.

Related Article:  7 Subtle Signs OF  Manipulation In Relationships


8. Ignoring Boundaries: 

Great relationship are built on a solid foundation of trust, respect and mutual understanding of each other's differences. This is why the things you should never tolerate in a relationship include someone who is intentionally ignoring your limits and needs. 

Boundaries are guidelines about how you want to be treated and how your needs can be met. This affects your mental health, and if ignored, it will build up over time into resentment and even potential exhaustion. The purpose of boundaries is to establish and reinforce mutual respect, by drawing a line between what is acceptable and what is not.

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Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

 Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?



One of the hardest times in a relationship or marriage is when your partner cheats on you. Then you have to decide whether you want to stay in the relationship or break up. Cheating  means that your partner is lying and manipulating you. Therefore, it can be difficult for you to decide whether to forgive and give your cheating partner a second chance.

When someone cheats on you, it hurts a lot because that trust was broken and often abused. The cheater usually lied, deceived, and insulted the other person while cheating, thereby breaking the sacred bond of the relationship. Infidelity, sadness, and anger are rational and justified feelings that follow the effects of infidelity.

Trust is fragile and hard to restore in a relationship. It takes an investment of time and energy to rebuild it again, as when trust withers, so does the relationship. Although cheating is devastating, it can also be a wake-up call for both people regarding the status of their relationship and the aspects they are neglecting. If both parties choose to move forward together, this should be something they take on more so that it doesn't happen again.

When should you forgive a cheater? 

There are a lot of variables that come into play when considering whether or not to forgive a cheater and give them a second chance. Then dive into how to forgive a cheater once you've decided that it's worth it. It largely depends on how willing and motivated both parties are to maintain the relationship. You both need first of all honestly and faithfully to be in a relationship together.

Infidelity does not always mean that the relationship is over, the chance of a relationship recovery is more optimistic if your partner truly feels remorse. Indeed, but they need to fully acknowledge their destructive behavior and take full responsibility for it. Real remorse is a huge indicator that there is hope in a relationship, especially if you've been together for a long time and have kids together. But, both of you must realize that your relationship will never be the same. You can't just pretend like nothing ever happened if you want to change anything. You both have a lot of hard work to make the relationship work.

Here are some suggestions that will help you make the right decision. 

Questions to consider before giving your partner a second chance: It's important to really think about everything that is involved in repairing your relationship such as healing your pain, rebuilding trust, learning to be intimate again, and improving communication. Here are some important questions to ask yourself.
  • Is this the first time your partner cheats on you? 
  • Does your partner understand the harm they have caused?
  • Does your partner realize cheating is a problem? 
  • Has your partner accepted responsibility for being unfaithful? 
  • Regardless of the reasons for infidelity, will your partner accept that changes in their behavior are needed?
  • Has your partner apologized?
  • Do you think your partner feels remorse and really regrets being unfaithful? 
  • Will your partner attend marital and individual counseling? 
  • Do you think you can trust your partner again?
  • Do you think your relationship is worth saving?
  • Do you think your partner's betrayal will forever haunt your mind and heart? 
  • Can you forgive your partner or will you put disbelief over his head?
  • Are you thinking about revenge or retaliating? 
  • Will your family and friends support reconciliation efforts or hinder the process? 
  • Are you both ready to work on your relationship and figure out how to solve basic problems?

Answering these questions honestly can help you decide if you should give your partner a second chance. See your answers. Are they mostly positive? Or are there areas of concern? You may wish to discuss this list with a counselor or other neutral party who can help you assess your situation.

Related Article: 7 Sings You Have A Cheating Partner


Red Flags That Should Not Be Ignored:

There are times in a relationship when you should reconsider giving your partner a second chance. Of course, the choice is still yours, but giving a second chance when these red flags are present may mean that true reconciliation is unlikely. Think twice about giving a second chance when:
  • Your partner had an affair with a previous partner.
  • The affair was full-fledged and long-term.. 
  • Your partner shows no remorse or does not apologize.
  • Cheating occurred early in the relationship. 
  • Cheating is a sequential or pattern of behavior
  • Your partner is abusive or controlling.

Although it can be difficult to accept, not every relationship can be reconciled. There are times when a cheating partner refuses to end an affair or has a consistent pattern of cheating. In these cases, drastic changes must occur before any reconciliation can be successful. If these red flags are obvious in your case, consider seeking individual advice before making any permanent decisions.


How To Repair Relationship after cheating? 

How to repair a broken marriage after cheating? It is possible that the relationship will return to "normal," or even stronger than it was before the infidelity. But this does not happen overnight, and it requires hard work on both sides. For cheaters, they must come to terms with what they cannot achieve within themselves that has led them to cheat. They have to heal their personal damage, and then heal the damage they have caused due to their mistakes. For someone who has been cheated on, it can be very difficult to achieve forgiveness after the betrayal. Grieving takes time, time to heal, more time to forgive, and even longer to give confidence. However, two people can use this time to heal together and develop a stronger foundation built on honesty and communication.

If you decide to give your partner a second chance, it may make sense to stress that this is a one-time opportunity. They need to understand that there will be no more chances if they cheat again. It is important to emphasize that your desire to reconcile the relationship does not mean that you condone cheating behavior. Meanwhile, the partner who cheated should be willing to explain why they cheated. They must also be apologetic and honest, and they must keep their promises. They also need to realize that there will be questions about their commitment. Thus, they may need to agree to set healthy boundaries about their future behaviors.

Although it is best to discuss these boundaries with a relationship or marriage counselor, your partner may agree to allow you full access to their phone, text messages, social media accounts, and emails. They may also agree not to have lunch or dinner alone with someone who might be a potential romantic partner. For a long time, you may worry and wonder whether or not they will cheat again. Therefore, 

These boundaries serve two purposes: They provide you with a sense of security while holding your partner accountable.

Relationship repair may not always work, however, and it can get ugly. Commitment is a two-way street that takes dedication from both parties. It takes both people to be brutally honest with each other, even the subtleties and guts of a relationship, while still being supportive of each other. If you choose to forgive your partner (or even if you don't), remember that holding grudges will ultimately be an obstacle to your recovery and happiness. 

If you forgive your partner and really want to work on your relationship, don't put their faults above their heads. Constantly mentioning and/or punishing them for their infidelity will only lead to resentment by both parties, and will greatly impede the progress of the entire relationship.

Couple therapy can be very helpful when deciding to salvage the relationship after infidelity. Working with a marriage counselor or couple therapist will help heal wounds, facilitate clear and effective communication, and ideally rebuild trust between the two of you. It can also help both people understand why infidelity occurred, which may give way to sympathy. Couples will also need to see the incident as an opportunity to examine what went wrong and what could be improved, such as emotional dissatisfaction, sexual desires, or communication. Additionally, monogamy must be addressed and discussed, with clear boundaries set.

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5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People

5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People

5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People

5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People


5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People 


Do you often feel a deep concern for the feelings of the people around you? Do crowds make you uncomfortable? Would you describe yourself (or the people closest to you) as a sensitive person? If so, you may be sympathetic.

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, with a keen ability to sense what the people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empathy to describe a person who experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of enduring the pain of others at their own expense.

Dr. Judith Orloff, a pioneer in the field, describes empaths as those who absorb the world's joys and stresses like "emotional sponges." In her book The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, she points out that empathy lacks the filters most people use to protect themselves from over-stimulation and can only absorb surrounding feelings and energies, whether they are good, bad, or something in between. She also listed in her book her most important traits in empathy.


Why Empaths Attracts Toxic People. 


1- They Take responsibility for the actions of others.

Empathy can go as far as an apology when he's not wrong. When an empath sees an expression of anger in the other person's face, They feels that the fault is from them (sympathy). In short, most of the time, when people know you're empathetic, they'll intentionally go wrong sometimes, yet claim they're right, because they know you can't survive the atmosphere of trouble. They know sympathizers who yearn for peace and yearn for it with all their being.


2- Empaths tend to hijack other people's problems.

Having this innate desire to make sure others are happy, empaths can go so far as to buy your problem and hang it all around them. At school, you sometimes see them running to make sure other people's tasks are done. They even cheat in exam halls just for others to pass, putting themselves at risk for others' sake.


3-They are attracted to broken people.

Every action and movement of the empath's character always sends the message that they are very open to helping others. Perhaps in meetings or when there is a gathering, the way they talk or contribute to the meeting tends to be very gentle and protective. If deliberations are made to punish a person, person, or person who has sinned, the words spoken by sympathy are words of penance; They try to protect the person(s) who broke the rule(s). This is how they empathize.

Some empaths may feel some physical symptoms that coincide with what others are going through. For example in a movie scene, if someone is being bullied, or there is extreme violence, the empathetic person may break down into tears, or even leave the room to avoid the scene where someone is in pain knowing they can't help.


4- They think that others are as decent, good, and just as they are.

Empaths trust people as easily as anything else. They think everyone else has as good intentions as they do. This makes them virtually trust anyone they meet. This gets worse when a person is shaping up to be excellent at first.

Empaths are often convinced of the first approach; They do not take the time to examine the authenticity of the people they meet. They are not looking for fake friends; They believe that everyone comes for good. That's why, most of the time, they end up in shock when they understand that a toxic person has taken advantage of their kindness. They feel they can solve every problem. Empaths drop a lot of responsibilities on themselves, even those that are beyond their capacity. They are very worried about fixing it, but when they reach the point of submission, they break themselves hard.


5- Empath are givers.

We can say that givers attract takers. Just like the rule of physics which states that "like terms repel, unlike terms attract". This is absolutely true when it comes to why empaths attract toxic people.

Narcissists, for example, are attracted to people they will get the greatest use from. Often, this means they pursue and target empaths.

Empaths are "emotional sponges," who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. This makes them them very attractive to narcissists, because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way.

What narcissists see in empaths is a giving, loving person who is going to try and be devoted to you and love you and listen to you," she said. "But unfortunately empaths are attracted to narcissists, because at first this is about a false self. Narcissists present a false self, where they can seem charming and intelligent, and even giving, until you don't do things their way, and then they get cold, withholding and punishing."


So How To Deal with Toxic people:

1. Prioritize Self Care
2. Don't Take it Personal & its not your fault
3. Set clear boundaries
4. Find a support system

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8 Marriage Mistakes Women Make

8 Marriage Mistakes Women Make

8 Marriage Mistakes Women Make

8 Marriage Mistakes Women Make


8 Marriage Mistakes Women Make

People make mistakes, that's normal. But some faults or misunderstandings can put your relationship in danger if you do it constantly and in long-term, especially as a married couple. We're not saying that you shouldn't make any mistake at all, but by being aware of the common errors that you or your future spouse potentially make in your upcoming marriage, you'll learn from it and do better

However, there are mistakes committed by men and others committed by women, driven by the lack of self awareness, different cultures, and the lack of communication skills for each party to express emotional and psychological needs. The result is more resentment between both parties.

Marriage is hard work, it needs to work constantly in order to reduce the harmful things in the relationship, and keep the flame of love burning. So if there's a worthwhile reason to work hard, it's marriage. 

 In any case, let us discuss in this article some of the most important mistakes that wives make, which may seriously damage the marriage relationship: 

8 Mistakes Married Women Make


1- Mission is done, no need for more efforts towards the relationship.

Many women think that marriage is the last stop in a relationship. Are you one of them? Do you think that once you get married, everything will settle by itself? 

Marriage is just the next level of a successful relationship. It is not the last stop. It is a new challenge with its own problems and struggles. However, the rules for success are the same - communication, sharing, respect and understanding.

Do it as you did before marriage. Keep appreciating and discover the other! Keep planning for a bright future and make it happen! Keep working all the time! . A successful relationship requires continuous effort from us to remain successful.


2- Children take first place when it comes to attention. 

You will always love your children. It is a given, and it is a blessing and instinct in all mothers. But you have to remember that one day they will leave the house and they will have their own life. And you will stay with your husband until the end of the trip, and it will be again only the two of you together. 

Don't allow yourself to lose touch with him as the kids get older. They will always need your attention when they are young. But you have to find a balance. You will have to find time to get closer to him and communicate with him. Making efforts to keep the main relationship going in your family will give your children an example of what a marriage should look like. Remember that you are doing this not only for him but for you and your children as well.


3-  Becoming overly controlling.

There are many families in which the husband does not like to make decisions about many things in the family. Or the wife has control issues and thinks her way is always better than everyone else. If you are one of them you will have to stop. 

Marriage is not an arena for fights or competitions over power and struggles over who has the last word. A man will not be happy when he finds himself marginalized or does not perform what he must do of the tasks of care and responsibility towards his family and providing protection and safety for his wife and children, especially when he finds another man in the form of a woman who takes over these roles and wants to be alone in making all decisions home own.


4- You Keep trying to change him.

Many people don't like it when you try to aggressively change their lifestyle. They get the impression that you're pushing their flaws right in front of them, and that can be demoralizing. When it comes to male sex, this is one of the mistakes women make with men. One of the best ways to correct someone is to do so with love and acceptance.

In general, constructive criticism works better than destructive criticism. It is wrong to openly judge someone for their flaws. Instead, tell them that you accept him and encourage him to do better. In addition, if you want your partner to change their hobby or lifestyle, it can be difficult because they are used to it. Thus, it is better to communicate intimately and try to keep an open mind with him. In the end, you and your partner will strike a balance to avoid hurting each other.

For example, if you are not satisfied with the weekends when the husband goes out with his friends or with his laziness about participating in household chores, then there is time to search for a solution to the problem by expressing your feelings, fears and needs without making it personal Through constant criticism and continuous attack on the life partner.

Nobody says you shouldn't share your fears and ask for understanding. But you also have to have enough space of acceptance and understanding of the nature of the differences between both of  you.

Your partner does not have to be obligated to become an exact copy of your perceptions. So that he does not find himself in a struggle for survival in order to protect his identity and use stubbornness and conflict as a weapons of resistance towards your constant quest to change him.


5- Not making intimacy a priority. 

Whether it's because of exhaustion or for some other reason, many women don't make enough time for intimacy. This is a serious mistake, "The truth is that what is best for everyone is a healthy sex life." “It maintains a happy family. What their children need more than anything is parents who have a strong and positive bond.” 

A good sex life has countless benefits, from increased bonding and emotional well-being to enhanced physical health. For most women, improving their sex lives starts with feeling aroused - so find ways to feel confident and attractive. 

Furthermore it , Men often complain that the burden of initiating sexual activity falls on their shoulders. They want to feel wanted too, so make sure there is no tension on this side as much as possible! Making your sex life a priority in your marriage will be beneficial to everyone as the man gets the physical fulfillment that helps him be more open to meeting your emotional needs.


6- Not Being Clear About Expectations

One of the most common complaints among husbands is that they simply do not know what their wives want or expect of them. This can lead to all kinds of problems.When it comes to household responsibilities, finances, the time you spend together, or any other aspect of marriage. 

Couples who work best in marriage make their expectations clear from the start about the sharing of roles, responsibilities, parenting issues, and finances, 

Says family and marriage therapist Elie Karam, an assistant professor of couples therapy at the University of Louisville. Autopilot mode" "A lot of couples do what they assume in their heads because they were brought up that way, and if it works out for them, it becomes their permanent style of communication," Karam says. However, over time, resentment can easily build up if expectations differ or are smashed against the rocks of harsh reality.

To keep things clear, set your expectations up front. If you want him home at a certain time, tell him! Don't expect him to be able to read your thoughts.


7- You don't take care of yourself. 

When you haven't made an effort to look attractive after several years of marriage, it can be easy to settle into a relaxed routine of just wearing the easiest outfit, and even staying in your pajamas all morning if you can. We all know inner beauty is the most important, but don't underestimate your best outward appearance, either. 

This is another way to show respect to the man you love, that you care enough to make yourself look beautiful to him - and in most cases he will surely appreciate it. As we may note, most of these errors described above involve "omissions" or good things that we no longer do, and then there are also "sins" or hurtful things that we do frequently.

We change over the years. Our bodies will change, our experiences will change, and Situations and expectations will change. But that doesn't mean we have to let it go to the worst possible scenario. And it shouldn't just be because of your husband. It is healthy and beautiful to be healthy and take care of yourself. After all, it makes you happier and prouder when you look in the mirror.


8- Always react negatively.

When it comes to making mistakes in relationships, one of the things you need to avoid is being negative. You don't have to reject all of your partner's opinions or suggestions because you think you are right. A relationship needs the combined efforts of both parties to thrive so that no one is wrong every time. 

If you feel that your partner is wrong, there are better ways to do it instead of being passive. Try to avoid complaining and criticizing every time your partner makes a suggestion or makes an effort to please you that goes against your expectations.

To ensure that you and your spouse are happy, it is essential that you appreciate each other. When your partner offers you favors to express his love for you, acknowledge the appreciation of what he has done and make sure that he feels appreciated. Some women do not know the importance of appreciation in a man's life as one of his most important emotional needs, so they take what he gives and gives for granted. 

No matter how big or small the effort, going a long way to appreciating your partner motivates them to do more.

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7 Things Happy Couples Don't Do In Relationship

7 Things Happy Couples Don't Do In Relationship

7 Things Happy Couples Don't Do In Relationship

7 Things Happy Couples Don't Do In Relationship


7 Things Happy Couples Don't Do In Relationship


It will always take a lot of effort and commitment in order to make the relationship work well. You may have been led to believe that only love alone would be a wonderful and perfect thing to bring you happiness and joy. But it won't always be that simple. Relationships will not always be a walk in the park. You will encounter some setbacks and challenges along the way. And you need to make sure that you and your partner can weather the storm.

If you're in a relationship that isn't built to deal with all the problems you might have as a couple, then it's a relationship that's bound to come to an end without a doubt. But that also doesn't mean you have to throw the relationship away just because things get a little tough.

So how do you achieve this balance? How do you know the difference? How do you know if you're in a healthy relationship that's worth fighting for? How do you know if you're in a vulnerable relationship that wasn't built to last?

Well, here are a few things you might want to look for in your relationship. If a lot of the signs mentioned here apply to you and your partner, you probably don't have a strong relationship at all.


Here are 7 things that happy couples don't do in a relationship


1. Fight over Trivial Issues.

No relationship is free of controversies. But it naturally takes some time to develop the x-ray vision necessary to see the superficial problems we are fighting about, and to consider the deeper issues of why we feel hurt or angry. And thus the development of an indulgence system that is flexible enough to differentiate between what is worth fighting for and what can be overlooked. 

Are you fighting about 15 minutes late to lunch, or do you two really fight about whether work is one of you's real priority? He challenges couples' motives that lead them to slip into focus on petty issues and choose instead to look at the heart of things and work towards satisfactory solutions to core problems.


2. Holding grudges. 

There are absolutely no perfect pairs. This is how things work. However, the best couples are the ones who know how to move on and forgive each other. Only weak couples carry grudges and bad feelings towards each other. Rather, they leave it taking a large space that affects their behavior and attitudes towards each other without carrying out a process of filtering these feelings or venting about them on an ongoing basis and addressing their causes together. 

The constant feeling of injustice, oppression, neglect or lack of appreciation are negative feelings that may be justified or may be based on accumulated mountains of misunderstanding and the absence of healthy communication between spouses.

3. Negative-aggressive comments. 

Passive aggressive behavior will always be detrimental to any type of relationship. And if you and your partner resort to passive-aggressive tactics instead of being honest and direct with each other about your problems and each other's feelings, you know that's a very bad sign for your romantic relationship. 
Passive aggressive behaviors are those that involve acting indirectly aggressive rather than expressing negative feelings directly. Passive-aggressive people regularly show resistance to the demands or demands of family and other individuals often by:
  • Resentment and opposition to the demands of others
  • Procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands
  • Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude
  • Frequent complaints about feeling underappreciated or cheated


4. Spending all time together. 

Just because you got into a relationship with someone doesn't mean you should spend all your time with that person. You should still be able to spend time with people outside your relationship. 

Not being able to do this is an indication of being involved in a relationship that seems toxic and stifling. You may believe it or not, healthy couples actually enjoy their time apart now and then. We're not talking about long weekends with guys or girls (although it might be), but instead enjoying a few hours of alone time doing something we enjoy.

Having some time to yourself can be very rewarding. You will usually return home to your more active and committed spouse. Healthy husbands don't prioritize their hobbies over their wives, but these hobbies certainly exist and can provide a valuable outlet for stress relief and regeneration. 

In the end, you should never lose your sense of self just because you are in love with someone. You should still be able to pursue your individual passions and interests.


5. Lying and keeping secrets: 

Life needs quality and a sense of security.” In other words, by keeping secrets or lying to your partner, you run the risk of losing their trust

In healthy relationships, you will never engage in deception or secrecy. There will always be openness, transparency, and complete honesty between two people who truly love each other. 

Trust is the basis for the success of relationships, to be confident in your partner, and do not feel that there is something going on behind your back or that some things are intentionally withheld from you, either for not trusting you or out of lying or manipulating you.


6. Negative criticism. 

Healthy couples keep criticism to a minimum. Instead, they always look on the bright side. Nevertheless, criticism is a way to communicate positively and adjust the course of the relationship.

Of course, healthy couples have honest discussions about what bothers them, what does not match their expectations, and how to improve together (this is done in a very loving way). But healthy couples don't overstep boundaries or become more hostile when criticizing each other. 

They understand that criticism can be constructive or destructive, and they use it to help build their spouse and marriage rather than tear it down. What distinguishes the relationships of happy couples is their ability to communicate intimate and healthy


7. Withholding love.

It's normal for the two of you to have disagreements, and even get hurt or abused from time to time. However, in those moments of hurt, healthy couples express love rather than withhold it. Love heals and heals wounds. 

Expressing the feelings of love is what gives the relationship stability and security, and it reassures your partner about his place in your heart, instead of pushing him to beg for feelings and pressure you always to hear words of love and reassurance. 

Also, healthy couples never use sex as a bargaining chip. Going down this path will turn what should be the intimate experience of husband and wife fusion into a cheap game. This is not a game, this is your marriage!

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5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship

5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship

5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship

5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship


5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship


Ending a toxic relationship marked by emotional abuse is never easy. Perpetrators of emotional abuse isolate, control, and psychologically exhaust their victims, leaving them feeling guilty and often threatening physical violence, so it can be difficult to find the strength to leave. The decision to leave an abusive relationship is a huge one and there are a number of things you can do to help
Steps to protect yourself from the abuser 

Whether or not you're ready to let go of the person who offended you, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. These safety tips may differentiate between severe injury or murder and running away with your life. 
  • Know the warning signs of a person who is assaulting you. 
  • Be alert for signs and clues that the abuser is upset and may explode in anger or violence. 
  • Come up with several reasonable reasons you can use to leave the house (during the day and night) if you feel problems with fermentation. 
  • Identify safe areas in the home.
  • Know where to go if your assailant attacks you or starts an argument. 
  • Avoid small enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head to a room with a phone and an outside door or window. 
  • Create a code word. Select a word, phrase, or sign that you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors or co-workers know that you are in danger and they should call the police

Safe Exit Plan: 


1- Decide where you are going when you leave. 

Even before you decide to leave completely, start thinking about where you would go if you had to get out quickly. Perhaps you have a friend or family member willing to host you, or you may feel safe in a domestic violence shelter. By making a plan, you will feel more prepared if the situation escalates and you need to get to a safe place.
  • Plan how you will get to your safe space, too - you can save the number to the taxi service or hide a copy of your car key in case your primary key set is taken away by the assailant.
  • Consider making two exit plans - one for how you'll leave if you have time to get out, and one for what you'll do if you need to leave at any moment. 
  • If you have children, decide if it is safe to take them with you or leave them at home. If you think they will be in danger, bring them when you leave. However, if your abuser never targets them, it may be safe to leave you alone at first.

2- Use a public computer or “burner” phone .

If you use your home computer or phone, the abuser may discover that you are considering leaving, and this may escalate the violence. Even if you try to hide your tracks, it can be difficult to completely erase your internet history on these devices - and even if you do, the cleared search can be a clue in itself. You can also buy a disposable phone for surfing the web - but be sure to keep it somewhere the abuser won't find it.

Keep in mind that your assailant has placed recording devices in your home, so be careful what you say on your phone. Likewise, they may track your devices or your car, so be aware of this as you prepare to leave


3- Save some money if you can.

If possible, set aside a few dollars a week - just enough so the abuser doesn't even notice it's gone. Even a little extra money can really come in handy when you're trying to get away from an abusive home. Either store some cash in a hidden place or open a separate checking account without the name of your abuser. 

Unfortunately, it is common for abusers to control money in the home. Even if you can't save any money, you can still get help from domestic violence groups and local shelters.


4- Prepare the packed bag.

Keep it hidden in your home or leave the bag with friends, family, or at work if possible. And take the following items with you:
  • Birth and marriage certificates 
  • Driver's license or other ID card and Social Security card
  • School and medical records 
  • keys 
  • Passports, green cards and work permits
  • Protection orders, divorce papers and custody orders 
  • Bank and credit card statements 
  • Medicines & Medications
  • A written list of important phone numbers. 
  • Evidence of abuse if you have it, such as police reports, medical records, or photos of your injuries.
  • If you have children, fill out documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, insurance information, and vaccination records 

Talk to the staff at your local domestic violence agency to learn more about the help they can provide. In an emergency, call 911 first


5- Consider filing a charge or obtaining a restraining order.

If you have evidence that the person who abused you physically abused or threatened you, you may be able to file criminal charges against them, or you may be able to obtain a restraining order. However, there is always the possibility that the abuser will ignore an order to stay away from you, so don't let that give you a false sense of security - do your best to hide your location from the person who offended you.

Keep a phone with you at all times. If the abuser finds you, call emergency services immediately. Sometimes the police will not be able to do anything if there is no active threat, but you will at least document the situation - and if the person who offended you sees you call the police, they will most likely leave you alone .

 If you live in your own home: 
  • Consider changing your locks or installing stronger doors.
  • If an exchange of children is necessary, arrange a safe, neutral place for the exchange to take place. 
  • If the abuser comes to your house, there is no need to let him in. Close the doors and call the police

Related Article : 6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship


Sources
extension.umn.edu/safety-planning-and-abusive-relationships
wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-an-Abusive-Relationship
helpguide.org/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm

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6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship?


6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship


How To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.

Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom. You may even deal with toxic relationships among your family members.

A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.


Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Only you can tell if the bad outweighs the good in a relationship. But if someone consistently threatens your well-being by what they're saying, doing, or not doing, it's likely a toxic relationship.

Relationships that involve physical or verbal abuse are definitely classified as toxic. But there are other, more subtle, signs of a toxic relationship, including:

  • You give more than you're getting, which makes you feel devalued and depleted.
  • You feel consistently disrespected or that your needs aren't being met.
  • You feel a toll on your self-esteem over time.
  • You feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked.
  • You feel depressed, angry, or tired after speaking or being with the other person.
  • You bring out the worst in each other. For example, your competitive friend brings out a spite-based competitive streak that is not enjoyable for you.
  • You are not your best self around the person. For example, they bring out the gossipy side of you, or they seem to draw out a mean streak you don't normally have.
  • You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around this person to keep from becoming a target of their venom.
  • You spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up.
  • You are always to blame. They turn things around so things you thought they had done wrong are suddenly your fault.


Why is it so hard to leave

People are restricted in relationship patterns that can be difficult to break out of. Some may feel financially trapped or anxious about their children. In abusive relationships, victims make an average of seven attempts to end the relationship before they do, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

Here 6 are the reasons why people find it difficult to get out of a toxic relationship:

  • Fear: In abusive relationships, one partner is likely to be very manipulative toward the other. This often includes making physical, emotional, or financial threats if the other person talks about leaving. As a result, the victim may fear leaving her partner. 

  • Children: For couples who have children together, it may be very difficult to leave due to the perceived negative impact on children. There may also be concerns about custody.

  • Love: There may be feelings of love left that make someone in a relationship. 

  • Finances: If one partner is financially dependent on the other, this can complicate the logistics of departure.

  • Shame: Many people hide the nature of their relationships from their friends, family, and acquaintances. As a result, they suffer silently because they are ashamed to ask anyone for help. They may turn to drugs or alcohol for solace, exacerbating the toll this relationship takes.

  • Codependency: It can be difficult to break free from the unbalanced relationship dynamic where one partner is constantly giving and the other taking it, as in dependent relationships.

6 Steps to get out of  a toxic relationship

 Ending a bad relationship can be really complicated. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier: 

  1.  Build a safety network: If you're thinking of calling it in, make a plan for how you'll handle the transition. Where will you stay What possessions will you need to bring with you? Don't do this at random. This process must be well thought out.
  2. Set a goal to be independent: If you don't have a career or a way to support yourself, it's time to start carving that path. Go to school, get training, and start working (even if it's a low-level or part-time job). Your financial independence is one of the main paths to freedom.
  3. Surround yourself with positive friends: Refresh your cache by taking a look at friends or family members who can support you. They will give you courage and an idea of ​​what life can be like outside of a toxic relationship. These are the people who will stay by your side after you end the relationship. You will need them for emotional support, help with a job, or ideas for a new place to live. Research shows that the quality of your relationships can affect your immune system, as well as your mood, motivation, and coping skills..
  4. Seek professional help: Getting out of and recovering from a toxic relationship will take effort and time. Connect with support groups or counselors who have experience with relationship issues. A therapist can be a great unbiased resource to guide you and hold you accountable for creating and achieving your goals. An experienced family law attorney is also essential if you are leaving the marriage.
  5. Apply No Contact : Toxic people are very cunning and can use emotional blackmail to lure you back in. When you make the decision to leave your partner, stop any form of communication with them unless you have children and need a parent. In this case, communicate only about the children. If you need to file a restraining order, do so.
  6. Self Care activities: Being part of a toxic relationship is extremely detrimental to your self-esteem and mental health. It may take some time before you are ready to be part of another relationship. Don't rush into this. Take time for yourself. To help yourself recover, make time for hobbies. Start working on a pet project or your own business. Take that trip you've always wanted to go on.
Source:

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10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But A Trauma Bond

10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But A Trauma Bond

10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But A Trauma Bond

10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond


10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But A Trauma Bond

It may seem obvious that abusive or toxic relationships seem like an outsider. Constant fighting, closing doors, tears, and hateful insults. Or the silent treatment and temptation and adoration and floods of compliments. "It's because he loves me." "Only he understands." "It's not that bad." Why do so many people stay in these relationships in the name of "love"? Unfortunately, the answer is simpler than we would like. 

Trauma bond formation tends to be a gradual process. It is usually characterized by a period of passionate declarations of love and enjoyment of emotions. This is the "love bombing phase". The flow of positive attention establishes grounds for the abuser's manipulation. It tends to be followed soon after by the onset of toxic behavior such as gas lighting, verbal abuse, or control.


What is the Trauma bond? 

The term "connection" in psychology refers to the positive sense of connection and attachment that develops between people when they spend a lot of time together. You may notice feelings of bonding after going through something really good or difficult with a partner or friend. You feel closer to them, more loyal. 

Traumatic bonding refers to the state of emotional attachment not to a kind friend or family member, but to an abuser. It's a passive form of bonding because it keeps you loyal to a destructive situation. The abuser uses cycles of abuse and then some sort of reward to keep you psychologically and emotionally trapped. 
If you are someone who has dealt with such toxic relationships, or witnessed this type of connection, here are 10 signs that it was not love but a traumatic bond and how you can overcome it: 

10 signs that it was not love but a traumatic bond


1. You depend too much on them. 

There is a term used to describe people who are overly dependent on their partners, and it is known as interdependence. It is a relationship in which your happiness and identity depends on your significant other. The problem arises when one person takes advantage of the other. It can be emotionally and physically draining, as well as financially draining. It's as if you're trying to manipulate the other person. Sometimes this is unintentional while most of the time it happens knowingly. This encourages toxic behavior in relationships, as you constantly give them second chances and they keep making the same mistakes.

2. You are trying to change yourself to them. 

A healthy relationship is one in which you accept them as they are. If you happen to have a relationship that made you change things about yourself, then this wasn't "love", it was definitely a traumatic bond and you definitely don't need anyone in your life who doesn't love you for who you are. You can always try to change yourself for the better but never try to change yourself for someone else. If they really care about you, you won't change your habits or your individuality for them.


3. You feel addicted to them. 

When we think of addiction, substances like drugs and alcohol come to mind. However, have you ever wondered if "love" can be an addiction? That's right, if you feel like you've become addicted to the other person, you're going through early stages of a trauma bond. You stick with it even after fights that turn into emotional breakdowns. You keep staying with them because you think that you are nothing without them and there is no way you can let them go with it. Remember to distinguish between love and anything that breaks you emotionally.


4. You stay because you feel that only your partner can meet your needs.

Bonding can shockingly feel like love because you are so attached to this person no matter what they do to you. But it's quite different. “The motive behind the trauma is to meet the unmet needs of the victim in question,” she says. You are so attached to this person that you feel that you cannot meet your needs anywhere else. You have been validated by your partner's "consent".


5. They ignore your needs. 

When the person you love ignores your needs, it's the worst feeling ever. You feel unwanted when you have always been there for them... through thick and thin. It's nothing short of a shocking bond, when the chance is they'll be there for you, they just remain unfazed and oblivious. If you ask for attention, they act unaware. I don't need much, if they had paid attention to you, things would have been different.


6. You sacrifice your needs to make them happy. 

Have you tried to get your partner's attention by buying them gifts that are beyond your budget? Or have you always kept their needs before yours? Well, you've come across trauma bond tag where you're trying to win their affection all the time. Relationships must be equal. Both partners have to put in the same amount of time and effort. If you are the only one making the effort, it means that he lacks understanding and most importantly, respect. You need to stop leaning back all the time to make them happy. The right person will appreciate you and won't allow you to sacrifice your own needs.


7. You ignore their bad behavior even if it makes others anxious.

"Your friends and family may be upset about some of the things your partner said or did to you, but you don't think it's a big deal," If the people around you mention that you need to get out of the relationship, but you ignore them or pretend not to know what they are talking about, you are probably in a traumatic relationship.


8. A consistent pattern of non-performance. 

They have proven time and time again that they will not change. There is plenty of evidence that absolutely nothing will happen. But you still think they'd do it anyway. You want to believe in your core that they are really going to change and that they really care about you enough to change.


9. Frequent harmful fights with this person. 

You only fight in circles and absolutely nothing happens. It just becomes a screaming match or a fight match or it may lead to a violent outburst. But no progress has been made at all. You fight about the same things over and over again. And you don't seem to get anything changing and it doesn't look like you can stop the cycle.

10. You feel physically unable to separate from them. 

You cannot even understand life without them. You can't even seem to put together a world where they aren't with you. Even if you want to leave, you feel like you can't


How to break the trauma bond :


1- Keep a journal 

Writing down the things that happen each day can help you begin to identify patterns and notice issues with behavior that may not seem offensive in the moment. When the abuse occurs, write down what happened and whether your partner said anything afterward to justify it. 


2- Avoid self-blame 

Believing that you caused or brought on the abuse yourself can make it difficult for you to exercise your independence, effectively keeping you in the relationship. Remind yourself that the abuse is never your fault, no matter what: What you may or may not do How deep is your fear of loneliness or life without it? How many times have you come back already you deserve the best. Replacing self-criticism and blame with affirmations and positive self-talk can help start this truth to take root.


3- Go no contact

Once you have made the decision to leave, disable the cycle completely by turning off all communications. If you are a parent, this may not be possible, but a therapist can help you create a plan to maintain only the necessary contact. Create physical distance by finding a safe place to stay, such as having a relative or friend. Also consider changing your phone number and email address, if possible. If you can't do that, block them completely. They may get a new number, but they ignore these messages and calls. They may insist that they will change, go to therapy, and do anything, as long as you come back. These promises may seem very tempting. Remind yourself, however, how many times they have already promised to change.

4- Focus on building healthy bonds.

After the previous step, focusing on social connections can be helpful in addressing your specific needs, while at the same time providing opportunities to relearn healthy relationship behaviors and patterns. By focusing on being the best and safest version, you improve your chances of being in healthy and fulfilling relationships — platonic or romantic. 


5- Get professional help.

While you can take action to start weakening the trauma bond yourself, these bonds tend to hold. You may not find it easy to break free without professional support, and this is completely normal. A therapist can teach you more about the patterns of abuse that lead you to bond over trauma, and this insight can often provide a lot of clarity.

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7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

 

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Get Divorced


Marriage is no easy joke. When you expect your marriage to work out to your liking, it never will. Unless you make adjustments with your spouse, your relationship will fail. The sad thing is that when you finally realize your mistakes, it's all over for your marriage

These are just some of the things I wish I had known before I pushed my marriage toward a divorce. ( As told by one of divorced husbands ) 


1. I could coexist

When you have a misunderstanding with your partner, you do not want to adapt to him/her. Therefore, you are creating a lot of ado about everything your husband does. Do we see how? You find your husband's habits annoying. You don't like his way of doing things.

You never agree with your spouse's decisions because you feel they are not good. You get into petty fights with him for harmless reasons. Your small battles quickly turn into major battles. Your main battles make you feel that you can no longer live with your wife

Unfortunately, it was too late to discover that my husband was not that bad. He had many good qualities. I'm the one who made the mistake of making so much ado about his petty mistakes.” Realization is late, isn't it?


2. I could have accepted it.

 After your marriage, you may find yourself not accepting your wife as she is. You want to change it to your liking. You want to change the way you wear it. Or don't accept many things your husband does for you. There are times when you don't accept his business hours either. You do not accept her family. And you don't accept his friends. 
This causes severe bitterness between you. But after breaking up with your partner, you will learn the most important lessons of stabilizing your relationship too late. "I should have accepted my partner as he is."


3. I could be understanding. 

You didn't really understand your wife when you were together. When he was angry, she never understood why she was so angry. You always assumed that showing her anger was an outright display of her lack of love for you and didn't understand that it was a symptom of your neglect and her need for you. 

You never understood that your spouse needed your emotional support. You never understood that it takes two to make your marriage work. But after the damage is done, you learn your relationship lessons too late. "If I had understood my wife better, I could have saved my marriage."


4. I could have overlooked.

When get involved in  focusing on the minor mistakes of the husband / wife. You fight with him for harmless reasons. You are always ready to catch your husband red-handed. You are turning your husband into a culprit in all your family issues. Finally, looking back on your failed marriage, you learned other relationship lessons too late. "If I had overlooked my wife's mistakes, I could have avoided her divorce."


5. I could have waited.

 When you have problems in the relationship with your spouse, you find yourself you can't wait to get a divorce. You feel like you can't live with him one day. You are not ready for any compromise. In fact, you are in a hurry to separate from your spouse. You all smile when you get the divorce you've been longing for. But after a few days you feel amputated. "Did I do something wrong?" Ask yourself this question many times

6- I should not listen to what others tell me to do

Remember how I said that many marriages end in divorce because of the interference of others and our inability to draw strong boundaries around our relationship? This means that there will be a large number of people telling you what to do, what not to do and chances, and their "advice" will be based on their very emotional experiences that literally have nothing to do with the details of your relationship and the nature of both of you.


7- I could have to avoid the communication gap.

If you don't communicate with each other, you better start doing it. The communication gap can actually lead to a bigger problem in the long run. It is essential that you ask your partner about his day, tell him about yours, talk about chores, work-related stress, etc. Talking to each other will help you build a strong relationship and relieve your stress to a great extent. Believe it or not, talking to your loved ones works as an antidote to many of life's problems Unfortunately, this is what I learned too late

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7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You

7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You

7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You

7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You

7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You


Relationships are like trees. They demand attention and care in the beginning but once they blossom, they provide us shade in all situations of life!

And if they are left to neglect, they die and wither, so if we talk about love in the relationship between a man and a woman, this love cannot grow in oppression, and neglect. This love grows with giving, understanding and containment, otherwise this love will die and be replaced by feelings of resentment, anger and loss.


7 Things If a Man Doesn't Do For You He Doesn't Love You


1. He has a great interest in every detail of your life.

He really cares about the little things. He doesn't take anything for granted when it comes to you. He is expressing his deep interest in your life because he really wants you to be an important part of his life. And he knows he can't do it if he doesn't make an effort to pay attention to all your important details, preferences, and dates, down to the smallest detail.


2. No matter how busy he is, he carve time out of his schedule for you and the relationship. 

He knows that the way he determines his time indicates his life's priorities. Which is why it's always important to make time for yourself. He wants you to know that you are not just accessory or insignificant. He wants to make you feel like a priority.

3. He respects your opinion and shares his important matters with you. 

He really appreciates your thoughts and opinions. He always makes sure to listen to your advice on the things that usually matter to him. It makes you feel like it really depends on your point of view. And when it comes to planning his schedule, he always wants to involve you in the process. He doesn't want to make it seem like he still sees himself as someone who can live his life without ever considering you.

4. He does everything he can to show you how valued you are in his life.

He never does or says anything that might make you feel like you're not important to him. It will not make you feel anxious or afraid next to him. He will do everything in his power to make you feel safe with him - to let you know how important you are to him. 

5. He does not withhold his love and feelings for you. 

He is not shy about expressing his love for you. He does not waste any opportunity or occasion to express his gratitude to you and his love and pride for you in front of the world. This will be shown in his words, his actions, his postures, his body expressions and his touches


6. He makes an effort to make your life to support you. 

He does his best to make your life as easy and comfortable as possible. He is not selfish at all. He's always thinking of you and wants you to know that he's not just living for himself. He cares about the quality of your life and invests in it and always strives to provide support and support even in the most difficult times.


7. He's Being Vulnerable With You  

He is not looking forward to playing any games or maneuvers with you. He doesn't always try to appear strong and domineering for fear of losing his control over you, he knows that the only way he can make you trust him is if he allows himself to be true to himself and isn't afraid of showing his weakness with you. He sees you as his only army so he is always ready to open up to you because he trusts you too.

Source:
relrules.com/if-he-doesnt-do-these-7-things-then-he-really-doesnt-love-you

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